WE'VE GOT A 2319

สวัสดีครับ Sawatdee kap!

Howdy, so I'm emailing this to you from our bunker under the temple site... just kidding. So I'm sure some of you have already heard, but the Thailand Bangkok Mission is under quarantine as of last Saturday! We're still chilling in Ubon, but we are only allowed to leave our house for very specific things, like our only hour of church and hitting up Makro so that we don't starve to death. Fun fact, when you're just eating chicken and rice, it's dirt cheap! But we also had almost a full week of being out and about doing typical missionary things, so this email can still be fun!

สวัสดีนะครับผม เอาบราวนีอันหนึงได้ไหม (Hello, can you bring one brownie?)

You guys, I'm still getting better and better at Thai! Hopefully being stuck inside with 4 white guys doesn't hurt it too much haha. We played Spot-it at a member's house last Monday, only we had to play it in Thai. The funniest thing happened, where for the last round, they allowed us to play in English. I was even slower that round, because I kept thinking of the Thai word before the English one. It was the most frustrated I have ever been with the gift of tongues, because it started taking away my native one haha! Another cool miracle this week was having a full 5 minute phone conversation with a member without even thinking about it! We also met with some kids that I'd only seen once or twice since my first day out here, and it was so cool to be able to talk to them and understand them! I even taught them some Chinese haha. The first time I saw them, I think the only thing I ever said to them was, "น้องจะขโมยจักรยานไหม" which means, "Are you gonna steal that bike?"

"JOSEPH SMITH... PROPHET" "WAIT YOU READ THE PAMPHLET??"

Remember the old lady and her son that we met last week who led us into the jungle to their house? Turns out, they're so awesome!! We went and met with them again and just kinda gave them a refresher lesson and really urged them to pray. We gave them our phone number with a Restoration pamphlet, but never really asked them to read it or even explain what it was. On Friday, we went and met with them again to help them pick flowers from their garden. The old lady, แม่หน่อย just started talking about prayer and how she prayed to have her leg healed and that night, she had a dream where it was. She was just going and going about all of the cool things about prayer. About a minute or two later her son, ไผ่, just says, "Joseph Smith... Prophet." and Elder Scott and I were shook. We got to talk to them a tiny bit about the Restoration and it is so cool how seriously they're taking our message! It's really crazy and humbling to notice how significant the gospel is and what kind of impact it has on these amazing people! I still need to work on my Esan speaking, but I'm so excited for them!

ADD A MIRACLE TO THE MIRACLE COUNTER

We have a less active family who lives way far away that we decided to meet with last week. We got there and started talking to the mom outside of her house. As we were talking and just checking in on how she was doing, some of her extended family started showing up and it was clear they were going to have a family get together sort of thing that night, and we didn't want to inconvenience them. We shared a quick scripture and our thoughts on it and how it could apply to her. Then she asked if she could share something quickly too. She told us how she had been pretty mad at God recently because her husband had fallen back into some bad habits, but us coming and sharing His love with her that night was an answer to her prayers and she thanked us and prayed us off. It's experiences like these that just make being a missionary so much fun and so rewarding.

SORRYSORRYSORRYSORRY

As we were biking home from a members house, we went down this one narrow road that leads into a bigger road. We heard a car come up behind us, so we started leaning over to the side to let them pass. They wasted no time trying to drive around us, so I hurried and turned a little faster. Elder Scott was going no handlebars (like an absolute pro), so when I turned quickly to get out of the way, our bikes got a little tangled and we ended up cutting off the car for a quick second. They slammed on the brakes and then started driving right next to us. The driver's wife rolled down the window and started yelling at us for like a full minute. I think we've officially met the angriest woman in all of Thailand.

NOBODY GOES IN OR OUT

So we're under quarantine! Wooo! Even though Ubon has yet to have a case of coronavirus, the entire mission has been asked to stay inside their houses which includes us. We can't leave our house except to get food or to get work done on the computer at the church. If you know me, I've got to be up and doing stuff all the time. So staying in the same tiny area for 2 weeks might be a rough time haha. We've been passing the time by cleaning up our area book, cleaning the house, making food, playing guitar, playing cards, and even doing duolingo. I'm shaking off my Chinese rust and doing the Thai to English one too, because there's no English to Thai! We also have plans of making music videos and our own version of The Office. It's gonna be good stuff, stay tuned.

LAST THINGS LAST

-On our last day out in the world, so many people were so willing to talk to us, waving us over, saying more that just ครับ when we'd say anything to them. All of the companionships in our district noticed this individually. God wanted us to get in all the work that we possibly could have on our last day haha.

-Elder Scott and I got in a really fast run one day. It felt great during, but I was pretty much dead after.

-Everyone at chuch was wearing masks. Brother Bank looked like a ninja.

-I ate dog this week. I'm sorry Charlie, but you are delicious.

-Love y'all.

เอ็ลเดอร์ ยังไม่ป่วย (Elder was not sick yet)

Elder Bear

-Chicken and waffles Thai style. Notice the sticky rice.

-A bunch of chicken friends that just kinda chilled with us while we picked flowers.

-Dog meat! Charlie look away.

Who Needs Valentine's Day When You Have the Love of Christ 24/7

สวัสดีครับ Sawatdee kap!

Well this was a way fun week! We had zone conference in Roi-Et, we met a crazy grandma who took us on a safari to her house, I gave a blessing in Thai (frick yeah man!), and may or may not have taught some members about the Church of the Giant Flying Spaghetti Monster.

QUIET ROI-ET

We had zone conference this week! We woke up early to catch our bus and still almost missed it haha. When we got to the church over there, the whole zone played volleyball. It was so so fun and I didn't even spike it into anyone's face this time! We had way too much pizza and not enough mango sticky rice for dinner. The actual conference was pretty typical, but still way fun! We took a party bus home with Sisakate again and I went way hard to "Say Yes". I don't know if that song is just way good, or if I'm super music deprived. On the way home, we stopped for the bathroom and I got to do my business in an outdoor bathroom. I had never felt so exposed in my life. 

YOU SPEAK A THAILAND SO GOOD

Y'all. Let me tell you. Thai is starting to sound like a less foreign language. Except for Esan, that's still impossible. We had some lessons where I understood all of it. Even when Nae-Nae asked us about Moses being translated. It's really hard to keep concentrating on what people are saying when in your head there are party poppers and fireworks going off, but I'm doing my very best haha. The gift of tongues is way real, you guys. More on that later.

WAIT A MINUTE... WHO ARE YOU? 

We went to go meet Sister เงี่ยม but she wasn't there. So we sat down with this family who lived right next to them (my criss cross applesauce skills are leveling up). After we ate their apples, pear apples, and bamboo (it's actuall way tasty!), we headed home. We came to a fork in the road where either path would take us home, and I asked Elder Scott which one he was feeling. He said left so we went for it. On our way back, we saw these two people walking away from the road on this gravel/dirt path. We stopped and started talking to them. One of them was the mom and the other was her son, and they invited us to come with them into their house. This hunched-over old lady using a long walking stick led us through the jungle and into her garden and then her house. Apparently, she had met with some Jehovah's Witnesses from Japan and she was way interested in becoming a christian. She basically told us that she would believe anything that we told her. Which may be blind faith, but it's faith haha. We're definitely gonna check in on them really soon!

CATCH US IN WARINE, HOW BOUT THAT?

Saturday and Sunday, we went freaking HARD. We met with so many people. When it was our time to be out and about, we met with everyone we possibly could. We found members that we hadn't met before, we met with some people who may be less strong in the faith, but we'll help them come around, and some really strong members, specifically Brother หัส, who made us some mocktails with pickled lemon and peppermint and it was wayyy good. All this biking is definitely helping us get in plenty of exercise, hopefully I can prevent the rice cheeks as long as possible. Also, quick side note, Thailand is way hot. Did you know that? Yesterday, the weather app said it felt like 100, and we haven't even hit the hot season yet. Sent prayers that I don't dry up and die, ok? I'm pretty sure I was sweating every second I was outside the last few days haha. "I'm a sympathetic sweater." "That's really gross."

SHE'S KINDA HOT THO

This is the story of how I died... Sunday night, we got home without any members giving us dinner. I know, way sad. I can hear you playing a sad song on the world's smallest violin. But when we got home, I was a hungry boy. We had all of the ingredients to make some papaya salad, except with cucumbers because papayas are way expensive. I put in 5 peppers and I thought to myself, "are you a man, or are you gonna be satisfied with 5 peppers?" I am a man, at least my age says so, so I threw in 2 more. And then I looked at my bowl, and then I looked into my soul and I said, "you can do it. One more." I grabbed that last pepper and I put that sucker in there. When I smashed those peppers, I smashed those things. You could just smell it. Oh man... this is gonna be hot. I was right, I'm a genius. Tell you what, I get the heat sweats pretty bad. As soon as any Thai spice gets into my mouth, I start sweating on my cheeks. This time, however, I started sweating everywhere. It was so hot. It felt like my entire body lost circulation and had the sensation of being asleep. It was way hot. My mouth was on fire I felt like a dragon. Meanwhile Elder Scott said, "That was just 8 peppers, right?" One day, I hope to be up there with the greats, and not stuck down here with the eights.

LAST THINGS LAST

-The secret ingredient to the secret ingredient soup is MSG.

-Everyone thinks that Elder Scott is a greenie because of his baby face.

-We used the hoses from outside the church and put them through a window to fill up the baptismal font because the water wasn't working. We ended up having to cancel the baptism anyway haha.

-Thai television is hilarious, but for none of the right reasons.

-Turns out I'm still bad at chess.

-Seeing as last week was Valentine's day, I would say that all of you are my valentine this week. But none of you wished me a happy half birthday, so I guess I'll just leave it at I love you all. Stay amazing, and share the gospel!

เอ็ลเดอร์ ไทยเผ็ด (Elder Thai Spicy)

Elder Bear

Also!! Shoutout to Elder Haymond, who got his mission call to Mexico, Puebla North Mission, and Sister Skinner, who got called to Vietnam, Hanoi! 

Gay Ice Cream is on My "Oh No-no" List.

สวัสดีครับ Sawatdee kap!

This was quite the week. If that's a good or a bad thing, I haven't decided yet. I learned secrets of the universe that make no sense, got a surprise massage from a gay ice cream seller, met a guy whose name sounds like Pirate, and biked and biked and biked.

TOUCH ME NOT

Ok, so obviously one of those things in the opening paragraph stood out a little more than the other ones. Let me lay out the scene for you. Elder Scott and I were waiting to meet with a recent convert at the church. However, we are the only companionship that doesn't have keys to the church, so we were waiting outside of the gate. That's when a man walked past, pushing his ice cream cart. Elder Scott asked if he was good today and he frowned really big and said, "no... do you want to buy some ice cream?" Elder Scott said yes, but I let him know that I wasn't interested. He made Elder Scott's ice cream and asked me again. I, of course, declined again. He frowned even bigger and just started massaging my arm. I'm looking at Elder Scott and he's looking at me like he has no idea what to do. While we're looking at each other trying to figure out what our plan is here, this guy has moved to my hands, my shoulders, my waist, jumps to my thighs, goes up steadily, and gratefully back to my arm again before I knocked this guy senseless. The recent convert shows up to the church too and he just starts talking to us like nothing is happening. The other Elders and the Sisters show up and they are in shock. I'm mouthing to them "help me help me help me!!" After what felt like an eternity, we finally opened the church and got inside, leaving that special friend of ours far far away from the merchandise. I was very conflicted while it was going on, because since I'm a missionary I don't want to punch a random stranger, but at the same time I was wanting to scream some 1 Nephi 17:48 at him: "In the name of the Almighty God, I command you that ye touch me not, for I am filled with the power of God, even unto the consuming of my flesh; and whoso shall lay his hands upon me shall wither even as a dried weed; and he shall be as naught before the power of God, for God shall smite him!"

CAN WE GET THE PROPHET ON THE HORN

Elder Scott and I biked as fast as we could for 30 minutes out of Warine so we could be on time for a dinner appointment with a recent convert. When we got to our house, he was waiting there for us and handed us a piece of paper and said, "Give this to President Nelson." It had this ridiculous equation on it that doesn't make any sense and just a whole bunch of whatever on it. But maybe this is the revelation that President Nelson is going to share with us this conference session? I'll send a picture of it. We went and ate pad thai together with some tuna that he bought from 7. "If I put tuna in my pad thai, I'd be an abomination!" We asked him what he did that day and he said, in english, "smoking, but not alcoholism. That's bad!" We'll work on him haha.

I DON'T THINK I'M MUCH OF A MORNING PERSON

This week, the exhaustion of being a missionary has really started to catch up with me. In the mornings, I have been especially intolerant of anything slightly annoying. And when I get mad like that, my companion says I just kinda go into shutdown mode. I just kinda look in one spot and don't say anything for a while. I realized that I am a pretty grumpy kid in the mornings, so I'll be working on my patience. On Sunday, we biked about 15 kilometers to find out those people weren't there, and then had to hurry another 10 to the church for a song practice. I was pretty grumpy haha. One of the Sister's investigators came up to us and asked me if I was alive. Yep I am, though it may not look like it. I need to work on my attitude a little haha.

I.... CAN SPEAK..... THAIIIIIII

Frick yeah, man! This week was amazing as far as Thai goes. It's coming, everyone! Balloons, streamers, confetti! Woo! The gift of tongues is so real, you guys. Like seriously, you can't describe it unless you experience it. We went and taught a member who lives pretty far away and about halfway into the lesson I realized, we're not speaking English, I'm understanding and speaking Thai. It's happening, y'all! I was understanding everything she was saying, I even learned a new word! She said, "You're a greenie? You're so good, normally greenies say "uhhhh" between every word!" Bless up. I'm getting the gift of tongues, God is sending blessings on blessings haha. That was easily the best lesson we've had yet. I could share everything I was feeling, and I didn't even have to think about how I would respond while they were still talking! The words just came like a normal conversation, and we got her less active son to commit to do Come Follow Me with her! Yes!!

LAST THINGS LAST

- We got a baptismal date for เงี่ยม!

- I may be getting the gift of tongues, but Thai food is a gift FOR tongues.

- We were visiting a member and Elder Scott went to the bathroom. As soon as he gets in, the member looks at me and goes: "Do you have a girlfriend?" That's always a fun conversation haha. Shoutout to Tokuyama.

- Apparently Pirate is pretty sad recently, so even though we missed him for our first appointment, it might've been a miracle that we found him last week! Stay tuned!

- I got to make ส้มตำ again! So good!

- Shoutout to Sister Durfey for getting her mission call to the Canada, Toronto Mission!

- I'm about to eat a KKK Burger with a fried egg. And although I love it, I love you more.

เอ็ลเดอร์ ไม่พอใจ (Elder was not satisfied)

Elder Bear

1. This is James! He has a way cool story, but to sum it up, he lives here and met some way nice missionaries in Seattle that told him about our church!

2. Our friend's revelation for the prophet. It makes just as much sense to you as it does to me.

3. This is me styling in my reflective vest that is a little apostate because it says, "I am Mormon."

4. 10 km away and they weren't home. ✌

"Would the Real Brother นุ๋ Please Stand Up... We're Gonna Have a Problem Here."

สวัสดีครับ Sawatdee kap!

Well, we got through transfers! I'm still chilling here in Ubon Ratchathani, frick yeah man, but I have a brand new companion! He's Elder Scott and he's awesome. Also, he doesn't look like he could be my brother, so hopefully people will stop asking me that question. But seeing as he's never been in this area, I kinda have to show him around. Pray for Ubon, it could be rough with me calling some of the shots.

UH, DID WE JUST GET GHOSTED

So, first off, yesterday was supposed to be a baptism. Supposed to be. We get to church, and นุ๋ was nowhere to be found. Ok... that's whatever. I'm sitting there in sacrament, stressed out of my mind. He never showed up. Ok... that's whatever. Day after, we headed over to where he works to find out what happened. He wasn't there. Ok... I hope we didn't get ghosted. Anyways, we also have Sister เงี่ยม who we're trying to give a baptismal date to, but she loves reading in the Book of Mormon and she loves coming to church! She had a freaking vision!!! She dreamed that she was worried she couldn't make it to church but she heard a voice say, "don't worry, the Elders will take care of you." So that's way sick. I love being a missionary.

NO NO DON'T GO TOWARDS THE LIGHT

We had to leave our painting service project early to visit a less active member (probably a good idea so I dont split my head open again), and she wasn't there. So we headed back and decided to meet this one member for a minute. He's waaaaay old and probably gonna die soon. So when he started praying out of nowhere and talked about returning home to serve the Lord, we were scared he was about to give up the ghost right then and there. Thankfully he meant for us to return home and serve the Lord, so everything is ok now 

ONE NIGHT IN BANGKOK

So we headed back down to Bangkok for transfers so I could meet up with Elder Scott, dodging flirty Thai women along the way. We headed to the bus station to pick up Elder Scott's bags that went off with the taxi. I met a member who had enough sass to satisfy sarsaparilla, and we went off on each other. It was legendary. He also happens to be the translator for the church so I hope that doesn't come back to bite me. We got on a way fancy bus for the ride back to Ubon and tried not to freeze to death. AC is the biggest danger to TBM missionaries, no joke.

DO YOU EVEN THAI

Ok so it's really fun learning Thai. It's way hard but sometimes it's rewarding. I'm still trying to full send it and speak with confidence, but I've gotta work on my faith in the Lord haha. Sometimes it's going great and I feel like I'm just a machine for ภาษาไทย. Other times I feel so crazy useless haha. My brain is always so fried after church on Sunday haha. And when I'm tired, that's when I can get pretty frustrated, but this is just when I need to really start trusting in the Lord! I just need to keep my head down and keep on working at it! Also a weird side effect of living in Thailand is that now food that isn't hot is kinda boring... except for cereal. Cereal is forever.

LAST THINGS LAST

-This month is Finding February and we've already found like 4 potentially interested people!

-We met someone from Belgium this week! He doesn't speak any Thai but was really impressed with how we could talk and teach a lesson, so that's something haha.

-We are going on a lot more runs this transfer, so maybe I'll be in sorta ok shape by the end of my mission?

-Y'all my sister is getting married this week!! Never thought it'd happen, but here we are ;)

-We went on a way awesome bike ride with a member by the river and holy cow, Thailand is gorgeous.

-I really like rice now. In fact I love it. It makes every food just that much better. But don't forget that I love you more.

เอ็ลเดอร์ ไม่เผ็ดไม่อร่อย (Elder is not spicy, not tasty)

Elder Barrett 

1. Staircase from the bridge onto the sketchy island in the river. I got bit by an evil ant down there.

2. This is from that awesome bike ride! This is what I see every day, frick yeah man.

3. 10 km down the road, Elder Scott is all smiles haha.

4. We taught our English students "boof" as well as "through the roof boof proof."